Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn

Have you ever met someone who is often upset or “blows up” at things that you would consider small annoyances?  What about someone who “shuts down” when you ask them what you may perceive as a simple question?  Or perhaps someone who jumps at a loud noise or tightens up at the sight of a specific gender.  These are all signs of trauma.  These are not all signs of trauma, nor does this always mean that someone has experienced trauma, but they are definitely symptoms to look out for.  Trauma can show up in many different ways, but in this article, we are going to focus on flight, fight, freeze, fawn. 

What are Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn?

These are survival responses hardwired into our nervous system. When we sense danger — real or perceived — our body reacts automatically to keep us safe. These responses come from the “downstairs brain” (thank you, Dan Siegel), where survival takes priority over logic.

Fight

You feel threatened, so you stand your ground or lash out to protect yourself.

• What it looks like: Yelling, hitting, arguing, being aggressive or defensive

Flight

You try to escape the threat — either physically or emotionally.

• What it looks like: Running away, avoiding conflict, overworking, excessive busyness, panic attacks

Freeze

You may shut down or go still, like a deer caught in headlights.

• What it looks like: Feeling numb, spaced out, paralyzed, unable to speak or act, dissociated, shut down

Fawn

You try to please, appease, or accommodate to keep yourself safe.

• What it looks like: People-pleasing, saying “yes” to avoid conflict, neglecting your own needs, codependency

These Are Not Choices — They’re Instincts

None of these responses mean something is “wrong” with you. They’re normal survival instincts your brain and body use to protect you. Sometimes they help, sometimes they get stuck — especially after trauma.

The good news? With awareness and support, you can retrain your nervous system to feel safer and more in control.

I say that a lot, don’t I?  But it’s true.  We are not stuck in our trauma responses forever if we don’t want to be.  It takes a lot of hard work, but with awareness, attention and attunement with ourselves, we can do this!